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Amsterdam, Netherlands

Loosely translating to dam on the Amstel, what a fascinating city Amsterdam is. It’s defined by the low lying areas, canals and architecturally houses designed to accommodate the landscape. It has its own culture, it’s a lifestyle and there’s a story to be told on every corner. Maybe it’s expected I should be writing about windmills and clogs but in the ‘Free Tour of the City’ it seemed that what was talked about most was the following two subjects. So, I suppose I should start with them.

It is common knowledge throughout the world, that in Amsterdam you may just enter a ‘coffee shop’ and buy marijuana legally. I really didn’t know much more than that, why would I? But it’s a fascinating trade even for one who doesn’t partake. Unbelievably, the Dutch are the second biggest coffee drinkers. They drink no less than 140 litres of coffee a year on average. That’s 3.2 cups a day and nearly double the beer they drink. Ironically there are 700 ‘coffee shops’ selling cannabis in the Netherlands, so if you want a straight coffee in a place that smells of warm cookies and hot coffee, you’re better off going to a cafe. It’s good to know this stuff before entering, otherwise instead of getting offered a lunch menu you will be handed a menu with weed of the day, and there might be even a special on the menu. Our guide says that for four joints you will pay the same amount as for twenty cigarettes.
In Amsterdam there are three off the record, golden rules to living here: you’re discreet, it’s good for business and it doesn’t hurt anyone. So why coffee shops…. It’s discreet (hence, they are called coffee shops), it’s obviously good for business and you’re not hurting anyone but yourself.
The Dutch government tried to formally make this illegal in 2012. To make a stand the Amsterdam mayor, who was opposed to the idea, posted on a website that “Amsterdam would not ban the use of drugs”. When that went viral it was too late for the federal government to say anything and change the law so it would be up to local government to decide if it was illegal or not. Understandably, Amsterdam and most major cities wanted to keep it. One third of six to eight million tourists arriving in Amsterdam each year visit the coffee shops. Like most, I would assume the locals would have lost most braincells with such a thing being legalised. Interestingly only 16% of young Dutch people, have smoked marijuana. The Dutch have the lowest use of hard and soft drugs in the whole of Europe.It seems that, when widely accessible, loses much of its appeal to the locals. It might seem odd the for someone that has no interest in drugs of any kind whatsoever to have written so much on it. That’s because, rightly or wrongly, it says a lot about the Amsterdamians. I find it amusing that you get heavily fined for drinking in the street but you can ask a cop to light a joint.

The second controversial topic is the prostitution, although here it’s just a way of life and not a taboo subject. There is so much to this topic that had to be explored what better way than by going on a nighttime Red Light District guided tour. The funniest thing I learnt was one of the reasons it started. In the ‘classier hooker area’ you will find a beautiful huge church. Prostitution was first legalised in 1417 and was made popular because of all the sailors passing through. One of the first rules written on paper was that prostitutes could not perform their services in grave yards. Back in the day, sailors would come to this area to have their needs fulfilled. Of course they didn’t want to go to hell so they would visit a confession box and buy a ‘get out of jail free card’ which would make them eligible for heaven. Sometimes they would have to leave for sea on days the church wasn’t open. The church catered for this dilemma by offering ‘cards’ in advance, prior to the sin being committed. These practices made the church the wealthiest in the area.
Nowadays, prostitution is again legal and for reasons I can understand. Having it monitored helps protect the women and puts a stop to pimps (who take all the money) and sex trafficking. Police actively protect the women through the use of panic buttons and take the ‘the woman is likely to be right’ approach – unsure how that would work down Tranny Alley…
These ladies are registered tax paying citizens who rent their glass windows for either a day or night shift. During the day their rent is about €60 and nighttime is between €130 – €180 depending on location. A 15 minute suck and fu*k is worth €50 (most of that is paperwork and cleaning I’m told) so on a good night they would be doing well for about 7 minutes work every 15 minutes. Similar to Trip Adviser, you can rate the experience on a website. Three categories: the girl friend experience, the porno experience and the wife experience. Like all businesses it keeps the good ones (suckers and fuc*kers) employed.
I liked our guide. He paid €50 for 15 minutes with these ladies (between the ages of 21-61!) just to chat and get their view on the topic and current events straight from the horses mouth.. By it being legal and having their own window, they are the boss and in control of their business. What they dislike is people who feel sorry them. These are clever business women that make a lot of money. Rightly or wrongly in the eyes of others, who are we to judge them on their lives?
To end, being informed before coming into any city is important, especially if you’re as innocent as my husband. Dave was looking at tickets for the Moulin Rouge in Amsterdam as they’re a 3rd of the price of the Paris show. As the reviews weren’t good he decided against it and to wait for Paris. After the Free Walking Tour we went out for a few beers with the tour leader who was also taking the Red Light District tour. Dave asked are there any other shows worth seeing in the area as Moulin Rouge didn’t have good reviews. His response was “oh no don’t go to Moulin Rouge. Go and get the real thing it’s much better value for money and I know of someone called Julia if you’re interested”. Well that just confused the living hell out of us and left us rather red faced. I’ll leave it to the imagination but by the sounds of it Amsterdam’s Moulin Rouge certainly isn’t can-can dancers but I bet they can can. I’d have never guessed Julia to be a stage name, maybe Lixy and Dixie were taken.

Amsterdam prides itself on its wholly liberal and tolerant attitude, embracing the fact that everyone has different wants and needs. So instead of criminalising everything, this very upfront city wears its heart on its sleeve. What you see is generally what you get. Although none of this stuff is my cup of tea and I can obviously see the disadvantages, I do admire them for not having a cotton wool or nanny-state approach. You travel because you want to see a place, not because you want to change it and make it like home.

Obviously there is so much more to this place but all good stories have a lure and *****s and drugs seemed to fit. On a more serious note, I for one didn’t know that a ¼ of the Netherlands is below the sea level. The lowest point is in Amsterdam at 6.7 meters below. The use of dykes, locks, windmills and pumping systems help control this which is why the 4,000km of navigable canals, lakes, and rivers in Netherlands is so important for this countries survival.

Amsterdam’s soil consists of a thick layer of fen and clay. All buildings are built on wooden poles that are fixed in a sandy layer that is 11 meters deep on average. The Royal Palace at Dam Square is built on 13,659 wooden poles. Often the brick apartment buildings are very narrow, the narrowest being 1.8m wide and 4 stories tall. There are hooks on the top of most buildings. They use a pulley system for all removals of furniture through the windows. I love the fact the buildings don’t stand straight. Building in every which way assists in the moving house process, among many other things.

No Dutch blog about the experiences here would be complete without a co
untryside tour. When I was 12 Mum and Dad took the family around Europe for 6 months. Moments like today I am forever grateful they gave us that experience. I remember that Yellow Bike Countryside Tour we did 14 years ago. I’m glad I remember it because although we really wanted to do it today, we just couldn’t afford to – nearly $100! Knowing what I know now about the cost of entrance fees, food and living in Europe it just astounds me how they did that with four people. Not to mention Dad driving around these cities or mum keeping us entertained (Dave can relate to that). Today, we opted for hiring bikes and trying to find the countryside ourselves. One would need a countryside map – lost it 10 mins after we bought it, or an expensive brand new Lonely Plant book – lost that on the train. Sigh. We took the second best option, the straight forward ride down the Amstel canal to a little place in the semi countryside – just an ok day out for a quarter of the price. That extra saving meant being able do the Heineken brewery tour which is like no other.It’s completely interactive. And yes it’s true, Heineken in the Netherlands tastes better. I learnt how to drink beer properly so now its drinkable.

“Amsterdam bike fact #479: there are 800,000 people here and 880,000 bicycles which is four times the number of cars. In the past 20years, travel by bike has grown by 40%. About 32% of all trips within the city are by bike, compared with 22% by car. 15,000 bicycles are fished out of the canals annually.

To end this fantastic stay, we got up very early to ensure we were the first in the queue, normally 100s long, for the Anne Frank museum. Such an amazing story from an incredible young woman and such a shame after 8 years in hiding she was caught and died, only a month away from freedom. It’s a moving experiencing walking through the few rooms hidden behind a bookshelf and listening to the stories told of Anne, by her surviving father and her friends.
To lighten the mood we went to the cheese museum and ate as much free cheese as we could before heading to the farmer’s markets for more food samples. With a bit of a saving made today, we spent the next 8 hours buying a few clothes from the two huge flea markets. I can’t tell you how sick of the 2 shorts and 2 shirts we have been wearing for 4 months. For a few euros and a lot of patience from Dave it was the best day out, for me anyway.

We have made a huge break through in the Eurail debacle and learnt a valuable lesson. In a week and half we have spent about $300 on unnecessary train reservations. The lesson is, don’t wait for the 5 different ticket offices to say there’s a free option after complaining about the cost. Never assume people who should know will tell you, always ask. So for example instead of going on a high speed, mandatory reservation train we took 4 slower free trains. We get there in three hours not one. Although sometimes we may have to pay, this is a huge breakthrough for us poor backpackers!
We are now in Brussels, Belgium. It’s amazing the difference between European countries. Amsterdam at 3am would be alive and kicking. Brussels middle of the day is dead and closed for Sunday trading. We’ve mistakingly booked our stay in the ‘Bronx’ of Brussels which really doesn’t help matters either. The ONLY things open in town are museums and churches, so we opted for a virtual Sunday. And would you believe it, it’s actually Sunday and Father’s Day. The best Skype conversation with my whole family this morning brightened my day.

Our Free Walking Tour guide, Senna summed up Belgium rather well. It’s a place to be discovered not just seen. When we walked through yesterday it really wasn’t anything special unless you’re into gothic architecture. Exploring the back streets and listening to the fascinating stories gave this place something to remember it by. There are many things people think of when they think of Belgium: Belgium beer, Belgium chocolates (a $50billion a year industry), and Belgium waffles. Comics isn’t one of the things that would come to mind but they have the highest density of comic book artists in the world. As the language spoken is primarily French (no Belgiumese here) they have a great relationship with France. Cartoons like the Asterix series is one of the most popular Franco- Belgian comics in the world, with the series being translated into over 100 languages. The Adventures of Tin Tin and The Smurfs are also by Belgium cartoonists. Cartoons are so popular here that no billboards are allowed in the city centre so they have cartoon comics to fill the blank spaces instead.
The other random but super popular hot spot is Manneken Pis, which literally translates to Little Man Pee – It is a small bronze fountain sculpture depicting a naked little boy peeing into the fountain’s basin. Since it was first put in place in 1618 its been stolen then replaced at least 8 times. There are many stories as to why it was put there. The most likely is that it was to represent the poor people who got paid for their urine which was used to make leather hides. If this story couldn’t get any more random, this little boy statue got made into a “Sir” so the French solders back in the day had to salute it when walking past. Nowadays a local committee, with its own tailor makes uniforms and outfits for this little boy, who is no more than 40cm tall. Over 700 outfits have been made and worn – of course it has a little hole at the front! Sometimes it’s hooked up to beer or milk machines and it pees that!
Supposedly Belgium is also famous for its chips, which are a cross between the English fat soggy chips and shoestring French fries. It’s so important to them that to become a Belgium citizen you need to know about their chips to pass the citizenship test. As it’s that important, I suppose writing down the recipe is required.
INGREDIENTS
Starch potatoes
Fried in beef lard or vegetable oil
Mayonnaise sauce to dip
METHOD
Cut .50cm potatoes
Par boil in deep fryer at 140deg for a few minutes
Pull out and re deep fry for a few minutes at 180 deg, until golden

“Useless Beer Facts #1&amp;2: Similar to no China Town in China, there is no Belgium Beer Cafes in Belgium. When an Aussie is holding two beers, it’s called double parked but when a Canadian is holding two beers its called double fisting….and they don’t seem to see the amusing side of that”

To finish our trip to Belgium, it would be only right to end on a beer appreciation tour to taste some of the varieties they are famous for and of course go to the Delirium Bar which has over 2600 beers from all over the world. There are 1000 different Belgium beers and 178 breweries in the country, ranging from international giants to microbreweries. Belgians prefer to drink boutique beers rather than main stream Leffe, Hoegaarden and Stella Artois. In fact the biggest Belgium beer festival of the year doesn’t even stock those beers.

A few different types of beer we tried, all were well worth a mention:
TRAPPIST MONASTERY BEER
Trappist beer is produced under the supervision of Trappist monks. Only 8 breweries are recognised in the 21st century as authentic producers of Trappist beer, six in Belgium one in the Netherlands and one in Austria. The practice of monasteries brewing alcohol is more than 1000 years old. Authentic versions of the beer must conform to several standards set by the International Trappist Association. The profits from these beers go to the Vatican or charities where they distribute funds accordingly. The main purpose is be able to feed the needy.
THE WORLD’S BEST BEER
According to a website which ranks the best beers in the world, that’s according to the beer connoisseurs not corporations, the best is ‘Trappist Westvleteren 12’. Its a Trappist bier made in a town 140miles from Brussels. It’s made by the monks purely for the purpose of fulfilling the monks monetary needs. For example, if they have plumbing issues they will brew more beer that year. Each car can only by 12 bottles from their br
ewery at any one time. You’d have to swap cars to get more and obviously they don’t export or sell anywhere except in the brewery. Overseas 12 bottles on the black market fetches $4000. As the brewery is so close, to here one bar in Brussels sells it under the table in unmarked bottles, apart from a labelled lid, for $15. I’d say it tastes ok – but I’m a cider drinker on a beer appreciation tour.
LAMBIC BEER
This would have to be the oldest way of brewing beer, 9,500 years old! Think of how you would normally brew beer, then this is the opposite. It’s flat like wine and sour not bitter. They age the hops for years to get the hop taste out so it only leaves the preservatives…and wait for it…. yeast is not added directly to the wort (mixture of wheat and barley). The vats are left open and wild yeast, which is unique to the Pajottenland region, just ‘flys’ right on into the vats naturally.
WHEAT BEER
Belgium is not solely famous for wheat beer but you’ll know one famous one. In about 1957 there were about 300 breweries in Belgium. Now there are half that amount. At around 1967 there were no wheat breweries left in Belgium. A milkman who had grown up next to one of the closed down wheat breweries and had sometimes helped with brewing, decided to try to revive the style. He started a new brewery in his loft then transformed a lemonade factory and created what we now know as the beer Hoegaarden, named after the Belgium town which helped him to his feet.

There is only one other thing left to do in Belgium and that’s to have chocolate, chips, waffles and beer for dinner – much better than prostitutes and drugs 🙂

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